60-days of being me…
The 28th of September 2026
Day One
Why 60-days of being me?
Over the last 10-something years, I have shared sporadically about my journey with Crohns disease, though it has never been consistent.
I have recently been on a path I did not expect with a yearning and deep need for self-discovery (see video on the home page).
Reasons for being inconsistent...
◆ It is exhausting explaining that I genuinely experience every setback as a gift and path towards transformation. I hold sadness, that is normal, but for me it is never disdain.
◆ Honestly, I do not think what I have been through is that inspiring compared to people around me.
◆ I measure strength differently; I am no stronger than anyone else – I am just aware of my mindset and know how to change it.
◆ There are people who share about it already. My story is probably just excess and I can already see eyes rolling.
◆ I should keep it private.
◆ My writing will never be perfect.
◆ I really don’t want my kids to be teased, because I am ‘different’.
◆ Impulsivity then insecurity. Motivation then moving on – thank you AuDHD.
Reasons this time different?
◆ I have realised something I didn’t know before, what I needed and what I hope will help someone else reclaim their voice or move through uncertainty with increased compassion and empowerment.
◆ I accidentally signed up to Hay House and now I’m writing a book proposal, so…this is a technological accountability buddy. You are welcome.
Beginning
This recount was supposed to be polished, full of evidence linked to parts of my day and what emerged. I intended to share the goals I had developed, the strategies I had worked out to achieve them and a nice summary of the research on autistic burnout, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and Crohns disease. I planned to write and talk about neuroscience, mindset and the neuromechanisms of memory and attention, the results that stunned me from recent reports that I had read for my research project about the current state of wellbeing in the Australian workforce. The pre-determined cherry on top was, of course, an easy-to-follow set of steps based on evidence-informed strategies to support you in your daily life. I had a plan and I was excited to begin!
As I have always worked across contexts, I thought this was the perfect moment to share the deep knowledge I have gained about the body and brain after years and years of study and clinical practice, something I rarely get to do in all environments I work in. Then something happened I didn’t expect. I let the plan go. Everything! The scaffolds, the data, the articles. Okay, I kept some steps, though they have come from experience, not research.
How did this happen? I was unsure as I began writing, but it is somehow flowing out of me. Despite waking up drained, 2/10 for vitality, I planned to push through (old pattern, purpose is bigger than pain, right) and I made a good start.
The day started with data collection (self-report questionnaires), finishing journal prompts, posting about my feelings before an anxiety ridden rip to the chemist. I made it back in time for my telehealth appointment, where I divulged all the patterns I had noticed from over the last month to my psychologist as I gardened and I knew the next step was to write some GAS (Goal Attainment Scale) goals.
Then two blankets of truth, quite unexpectedly, wrapped around me.
The first – A reflection of what I had just been speaking about and realisation that my mind has ALWAYS worked in patterns. The second - I was experiencing a sense of unrest in every cell of my body. Every noise was too loud, and the slightest touch was too much. I wanted to spend time with my kids as it is holidays, but I realised I was feeling OVERSTIMULATED. This meant that I could choose to do something differently. So instead, I stopped. I gardened and I did not set measurable GAS goals for the next 60-days. I broke the pattern. Instead, I asked myself one question which will by my compass over the next 60 days.
What happens when I solely listen to the intuition I FEEL in my body?
Then, I checked my astrology chart. Yep. Not the evidence. My natal chart.
I have LOVED astrology forever and have always looked to it as a map that I can choose (or not) to follow towards whatever I came here for. Afterall, everyone has freewill. What it does always affirm for me, however, is confirmation of what I knew deep within me. Today was no different (more about what I mean later, my brain is dwindling. Break the pattern!).
In essence, if I want to help someone by sharing my story, I must take the time to hermit when I need to and let go of making my writing perfect. The irony. As such, let us see what happens. I am posting this unedited (scary, maybe funny later), and I will see how I wake up tomorrow.
So…here’s to intuition and whatever it brings forth!
Tara’s (non-evidence-informed) tips;
◆ Experiment with different ways of noticing, talking out loud, writing it down.
Be curious: What works best for you?
◆ Explore strategies to help you connect with your body. Guess what, resting is a good place to start.
Be curious: What expectations do I have for myself and other people when it comes to resting?
◆ Enable yourself to investigate things to help you that might be new, or perhaps you have left behind.
Be curious: What helped me trust my inner guidance that I don’t use anymore?
I am sure the evidence will be slip in when it is needed.
For now, I am grateful that this has poured out of me. Earlier in the day I couldn’t put a sentence together and I had forgotten how much I love to write.
This is me truly using my voice. Be kind.
With warmth and resonance,
Tara